When you say nothing at all: Why relationships fall - AmericaNowNews.com

Why the silent treatment can be deadly

Have you ever been so angry at someone you stop speaking to them? Well, if that's your usual approach when you're mad at your husband or wife, your marriage could be at risk. Our communications coach, Marcia Brandwynne, has something to say about saying nothing at all.

"When we create a wall of silence, we're emotionally abusing our partner. We're silently communicating that they're worthless and invisible," she explains. "It also leaves them no way to repair the problem or even discuss it. If that's happening in your relationship, you need to break the silence before it breaks the two of you apart."

Marcia says that the first step is to take notice when you're about to shut down. This is hard, because in the middle of anger, it's difficult to step outside yourself and observe your own behavior. But when you feel rage building inside and you begin to clench your teeth … that's the moment you have a choice on how to react.

Instead of shutting down, summon the willpower to open up to your partner. Force yourself to tell them what's hurting you so much. Don't hold it in. Shout it out if you have to. Yes, your words may be hurtful. But they will be far less damaging to your relationship than sticking with the silent treatment.

If you know this is how you deal with anger, but want to change it, ask your partner to help you by not accepting your silence during a calm moment. They should be more than willing to support your effort to change. If you work together on this, what began as a destructive fighting habit could lead to the kind of open and honest communication that's the basis of a long and healthy relationship.

Copyright 2011 America Now. All rights reserved.

  • Most Popular StoriesMost Popular StoriesMore>>

  • Fugitive Friday: Central Virginia's Most Wanted

    Fugitive Friday: Central Virginia's Most Wanted

    Friday, August 29 2014 10:04 AM EDT2014-08-29 14:04:54 GMT
    Fugitive Fridays tracks down Central Virginia's most wanted. Take a look at the photos and see if you can help police track down these suspects.
    Fugitive Friday helps track down Central Virginia's Most Wanted.
  • Six deadly foods for dogs

    Six deadly foods for dogs

    Every pet owner knows a dog can get into just about anything around the house. One woman found that out the hard way when her dog ate a bunch of grapes! Turns out, that's one of the most dangerous foods
    Every pet owner knows a dog can get into just about anything around the house. But these common snacks could be fatal for Fido.
  • Mouse droppings cause disease

    Mouse droppings cause respiratory disease

    Mice are one of the most resilient mammals living on the planet. Some people have them as pets, and they're also used in laboratory experiments. If wild mice get inside your house, they can potentially
    If wild mice find a way inside your home, they can potentially cause thousands of dollars worth of damage to your drywall and insulation. They can also transmit a harmful disease which can cause death in humans. 
Powered by WorldNow