Now, we all get angry from time to time. It's human nature. But sometimes it can get you in trouble. Our communications coach, Marcia Brandwynne, has a few secrets for keeping your cool when your temper gets hot.
"Making a big, angry scene can damage or even destroy important relationships," says Marcia.
How do you express your anger? If you find yourself getting furious with others a lot of the time, that's not good for you or anybody else. Learning about anger and what triggers you is the first step in effective anger management.
If you're someone who hides your anger, it can take a real toll on your happiness. It prevents you from resolving an issue right away. What you need to do is address the problem before it festers and turns into a grudge. When you carry a grudge, it's very difficult to get out of the anger loop and repair a relationship.
Maybe you're a verbal person when you get angry. You yell, accuse, threaten or use sarcasm. If so, you need to examine where you learned to do this and begin choosing your words more carefully.
Words matter, and saying something mean can last a lifetime
Perhaps you express your anger indirectly. you destroy property, spread nasty rumors or shut people off. If so, you need to work on being specific about why you're mad, because anger that's expressed in an indirect way only confuses the people around you. It's passive hostility and can lead to alienation, which just leads to you becoming even angrier.
"Remember, there's a path to resolution in every anger episode," Marcia says. "So pay attention to what makes you angry and how you respond. Self-awareness is vital to learning how to manage this very human, but destructive, emotion."
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