Rules of apologizing - AmericaNowNews.com

The rules of apologizing

Have you noticed the words, "I'm sorry" tend to ring insincere more often than not?

Why is that?

Our communications coach, Marcia Brandwynne, says there are key ingredients to a good apology.

"Most of us are terrible at saying we're sorry," says Marcia. "We do it because we hope it will get us over a bad situation. But most of the time, if we haven't really thought about our behavior and why it made someone unhappy, then we haven't really taken the apology to heart. And it shows!"

Before you apologize, if you really want to fix a problem with someone, you need to know the unwritten rules for apologies.

  • First, an apology is not an eraser. It doesn't do away with the damage, but it is the first step to making amends.
  • Second, understand why what you did was hurtful. See it from the other person's point of view. If you don't know what you did, ask them, and listen without getting defensive.
  • Third, don't apologize to get forgiveness. Just because you are ready to say you're sorry doesn't mean someone is ready to hear it. Look upon an apology as cleansing your own soul.
  • Fourth, never say, "I'm sorry but…" There should be no excuses. That's the quickest way to show insincerity.
  • Fifth, and most important: Learn from your mistake. What can you change about yourself so you won't repeat the behavior again?

"It's hard to say, 'I'm sorry,'" says Marcia. "It takes moral courage. But the simple trick to saying you're sorry is to really mean it."

Copyright 2012 America Now. All rights reserved.

  • Most Popular StoriesMost Popular Stories

  • Hollywood science fiction has long warned about alien invasions, but the real science may be more frightening.
    Hollywood science fiction has long warned about alien invasions, but the real science may be more frightening. We take a tour of the Center for Invasive Species to find out what microscopic organisms could be taking over the country if they aren't stopped.
  • Every pet owner knows a dog can get into just about anything around the house. One woman found that out the hard way when her dog ate a bunch of grapes! Turns out, that's one of the most dangerous foods
    Every pet owner knows a dog can get into just about anything around the house. But these common snacks could be fatal for Fido.
  • Air filters are crucial to keeping your home free of dirt and allergens, but their price range is huge. Does the performance justify the price tag?
    Air filters are crucial to keeping your home free of dirt and allergens, but their price range is huge. Does the performance justify the price tag?
Powered by WorldNow
All content © Copyright 2000 - 2013 WorldNow and America Now. All Rights Reserved.
For more information on this site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.